remembering

First Friday in May.... the date may roll off your tongue but it getʼs stuck in my throat....and my heart sinks a little..... For me it represents the beginning of the end.... Do you know what I mean.... If you have lost someone close to you, you know what I mean.... but at the time you donʼt even know the significance; you really donʼt know that it is or could be an event that significant... Beginning of the end.... it may look like a slight change in condition.... something that could be explained away but deep down you know it may mean more. That pit feeling in your heart that you are on the edge of a crisis; about to enter in; about to walk through something really hard.....hoping not but knowing you may likely be.......

It was a beautiful day--kids out at noon (just like this past Friday).. they each had friends coming over from school and we stopped by a local hamburger place to eat a quick bite before we came home. We had picked up my dad a burger... when we arrived home, I ran it out to his house behind ours where I found him in bed (not terribly unusual-he usually took an afternoon nap). but this time I found him shivering in bed, hardly able to communicate. When I asked him if he could get up and he really couldnʼt (didnʼt even really try) I told him I needed to call 911. When he didnʼt argue, I KNEW something was up. I did call and within a very few moments, they arrived (thank you local fire and ambulance devoted workers).... I also called my sisters knowing this wasnʼt an event to go alone. The emergency workers

talked with him and loaded him onto a stretcher to go to the hospital to get checked out. While it seemed innocent enough, I had THAT feeling. That one where you are in slow motion and everything around you is spinning and somehow you are looking into the situation, even looking down at yourself in the midst of it. I remember having the thought that I wonder if this would be the last time he would ever be in his home, the one he loved so much, the place of comfort and filled with lots of love. I brushed away the thoughts, knowing I must deal with the crisis at hand first. I must be strong. I must be helpful. I must be up beat for him and not show my fear. Beginning of the end--yes indeed; still hurts now but the following weeks got even worse (more in coming newsletters)... So in all this, what can we learn? We must somehow walk through the painful steps for care for our parent, not show our own fears, be strong and courageous for them even though the small child in us says that we cannot do this. Make this go away. But in our times of difficulty, the Lord is strong. He is strong when we are weak. He carries us through. Call on Him to be with you. Beginning of the end-- first Friday in May-- change is never easy.... May the Lord carry us through.....