Advice!

ADVICE and more advice! The reason I started this newsletter is because caring for a parent really does present itʼs own unique challenges. All of your younger life, the parent was in charge and now you are. You have increased responsibilities with them and a life of your own. So what do you do with well meaning friends, who are not in this stage of life or specific situation, who choose to offer you their words of wisdom..... First off, know they they really are probably well meaning. And while you may need a confidant to share with, not everyone needs to know every challenge that you face. Others donʼt need intimate details of physical changes that your parent may be having, so you can allow that parent to maintain their dignity. But it is nice to have someone to share with that loves you and your parents and understands the difficulties you face! When someone does give you unwarranted advice, here are some ideas of how to handle:

--Nod, smile and thank them for their concern but donʼt make any promises that you will follow through with their idea --do not try to explain to them that they really have no idea what you are going through..... They may want to tell you about Aunt Sally who died of the exact thing your parent has been diagnosed with and add gruesome details..... they may, single handedly know of the best nursing home in town, or worse, the worst nursing home in town.....Thank them and then go and do whatever is best for you, your family and your parent. Advice that someone, who is living life with you, that has been prayed over, is different than advice from someone who has thought about what they are saying for all of 5 seconds..... We have all been guilty when someone tells a story and asks for prayer and before you know it, you are offering solutions or advice. What they asked for is prayer; and what they are getting is advice. We can all take note and learn from this. Be kind and donʼt judge when someone offers unsolicited advice-- they mean well.... But also guard yourself from folks who drain you by their inconsiderate remarks.....Pray frequently and fervently so you donʼt express any ungratefulness but that your attitude may be humble and not annoyed at the advice sharer. Show the love of God to them by being patient and kind. And know that we all can learn from these experiences. We can learn and not do this same behavior to others..... JAMES 3:2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.